| ummm |
[Jun. 16th, 2007|04:16 pm] |
nothing has really changed
besides the fact that I'm a lot happier with everything
i have a allergic reaction right now to some kind of bug that bit me
lame
tomorrow is fathers day
and im going up to the lake.
to cause a scene
actually,
to see my little bro, Jack. (john)
uhh. i still have zero friends
and i like it that way
like now, im not even friends with ericka
fuck everyone
its better this way
im tired.
save me |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2007|12:28 am] |
Alright. so right now would be the best time to write, if any. Current location : Brock port. with Jeremy. We're at his friends house. Everyone is getting trashed. And by everyone, I mean besides myself. Of course. So here I am. alone in a room... Thinking. And I've never been happier. It makes me respect, and care for the life I live. I am not sure how, but I have changed my life dramatically, in just 5 months. I never thought I, ''Laura Crunk'' could sit at a party, in a corner, and stay sober. Weird. But any who. I guess I am happy. I mean, the only other thing in the world i would ask for is my father and I to get along. I defonitly miss him. More than anyone could ever imagine. All I think about is how much I needed him a few months ago, and he did the one thing I never could repay him for, he kept me alive, and helped me hold on when I wanted to give up the most. I think about how I used to cry for him. This sucks. And how do I repay him? By copping out. Not being able to live with the responsibilities he gave me, why? because I simply was too lazy. I wish I could have left the good way, on good terms. I'd turn everything around if I could. So why dwell now. I know it's too late. But it bothers me so much. I just dread the day if something happens. god forbid. I just want to be able for him to be apart of my life. It's obvious we cant live together, and thats not what I want. I need to have this responsibility. I need to grow the fuck up. He doesn't understand how much I love him, and it kills me. I think I'll stop, before I get myself so worked up over something that only time can change.
My friend situation is shitty. It's so weird. Its like i have myself trained... I don't go out. I have almost convinced myself that I need to be home after work or else I'll be in trouble. or something weird like that. but I live on my own, I don't understand it. I guess being forced not to hang out with my old friends actually made me want to hang out with them... because now, I don't even want to do anything with anyone. Jeremy makes me so happy. I feel bad though. I try and convince myself that he is going to fuck me over, like everyone has always done my entire life, so I end up pushing him away. Thank god he doesn't give up easy. I am pretty independant emotionally compared to before. I thought i needed them, wrong answer. but drunk people are encouraging me to socialize. so maybe i'll go be amused by them, or something... who knows. sorry for ranting about nothing? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2007|09:07 pm] |
update?
i now work for the gavras center, with the mentally disabled. i love it. i live with my sister sara. and im not complaining. even though i have the best boyfriend in the world, my life is a crazy freaking mess. i supposed im living day to day trying to figure myself out. its complicated. my life belongs to work and jeremy. im still not complaining. i lost all my friends. when i say all, i mean it. well, except for ericka. but it sucks. people who i thought would be there forever, slowly faded. and still fading. fuck everyone i guess |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 28th, 2007|01:28 pm] |
so i start my job today
im excited
but scared.
im scared about everything though
im kind of getting sick of everyone and everything again
it sucks
i wish i could stop living in fear
or something
idk..
i need to find a roomate to live with
im too scared to live alone
but alot of people i couldnt deal with
ya know.?
i want to live with my boyfriend
but hes got alot going on
and idk if he'd want to live in auburn
but i dont think i'd move anywhere but auburn
so who knows
someone whos responsible.
doesnt party
and preferably has a job
get at me? |
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| word up, bitches |
[Mar. 9th, 2007|03:20 pm] |
so bottle up old love
throw it out to sea
watch and wait
as you cry
a year has past
the seasons go
please just dont play with me
my paper heart will bleed
so everything in my life has gotten alot better. im alot happier.
im in love with the perfect guy, ever
i dont let anyone bring me down
i had alot of fun today for once
gosh.. ive missed laughing and having fun
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| fuck him |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|07:42 pm] |
you were my star.
i never wondered,
i know who you are.
its afternoon.
im ready for bed.
ready to exist again.
in the drug of a dream.
all my friends say,
all my friends say.
fuck him,
you're beautiful.
all my friends say,
oh all my friends say...
ya, well, anyway..
im tired and im lost and im hollow and unfriendly.
you bastard, i loved you
i loved you
i loved you.
all my friends say,
all my friends say.
fuck him,
you're beautiful.
then my mind says,
then my mind says.
fuck him,
you're beautiful.
but it's unconvincing.
my heart must have earplugs.
cause im bleeding and bleeding
you're the one i am.needing.
this drug of a dream.
takes me over.
this drug of a dream.
last night we went flying.
we flew through an ocean.
we danced in the waves.
it was amazing it was amazing,
it was amazing.
i smashed my alarm clock against the wall.
i smashed it i smashed it i smashed it i smashed it.
'cause all i have to say,
all i have to say.
is fuck today,
'cause he was beautiful |
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|
| =] |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|02:08 pm] |
i didnt do much today. go figure.
i miss my newphew
i want pizza
and i need to shower
i miss jeremy
i keep thinking my boots is my cat
uhhh
but other than that
im tired |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 6th, 2007|04:05 pm] |
sometimes i get over whelmed.
too much shit
i fucking hate having to deal with shit like this |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 6th, 2007|11:26 am] |
verrry long time since ive updated.
nothing is really going on though
me and vince broke up...
about damn time right.
its probably what everyones thinking
sometimes i miss him...
other times i dont.
we were close.
but maybe not close at all
everything confuses me.
ive been talking to tyler alot..
hes like my bestfriend
he understands alot of shit im going through
im talking to vinny online right now
shoot me
i miss jeremy, he might be the awesomest guy ever
=]
i love him
i couldnt ask for anyone more perfect |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2006|02:44 pm] |
i have the biggest urge to get SHIT FACEDDDDDD
who's down? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2006|11:25 am] |
todays my birthday!!
go me
umm
i dont think anything is going on today
but who cares
i defonitly had too many partys for my birthday
enough for the rest of my life haha
we partied like all week
fun timess
i love my friends
and without them i wouldnt be very far
i am supposed to go to moms...
i reeeallllly wanted to
but then i think he's bailing out
lame.
but idk
i had alot of fun last night
me jessica carissa katie and terry walked around auburn
hahahahaha
idk. long story
but we do have a cool new g bong
go us!
i love that candy cane
myspace isnt working
is it depressing anyone else?
k. good
my eyes are tired
and i didnt get to sleep till 700
and my mom called me at 5 am
<3 go mom!!!!!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2006|08:46 pm] |
|
im getting sick of fucking everything. and grrrrrr. idk what to do |
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| special k8..... |
[Dec. 11th, 2006|01:26 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | matchbook romance | ] |
so katie dungey is sexy
sexy as fuck
<3 muaaaaah
i love her. shes my fuckking best friend
i'd die without her
i'd die for her
<3 im so happy shes finally happy
we made out. haha
i miss her.
shes up stairs
idk. i dont want what im doing to ruin us
it wont
i would never let it
she means too much to mee |
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| dizzle shizzle wizzle |
[Dec. 11th, 2006|01:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | eminem!!! | ] |
so im upset
but happy
idk its weird
dad blew me off
but jessica wants to chill
idk.
i want to fix everything with me and her
i love her
its hard growing up without her
yeah im lame
i want to straighten my hair
but im sweating
not a good combo.
noone updates livejournal anymore
laura crunk wants to get wasted
i have court tomorrow
but everything will be fine
i talked to my lawyer
so im glad me and kyle are done
fuck him
dirtbag.
ummmmmmmmmmmm
my real dad changed my life
weirdddd
im not crazy and insecure and imature anymore
i grew up?
moved on.
maybe
i have a problem
buttt.
i dont
idk
i hate doods |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2006|08:55 pm] |
i swear i'll update this for now on
um im at lattimore
fun times
im going upstairs soon
and vince is on his way
yey
i am stoke about tomorrow
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2006|11:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
long time no update.
i live back home again
and im happy
me and kyle do not go out
and i defonitly dont want to get into that
i work too much
and everything is just kinda going i guess
=( |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2006|10:30 am] |
im sad.
i miss my family
well my dad and sisters and junk |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|08:08 pm] |
soooo idk whats really been going on.. im living every day as i go
i got alot of hours at work
so thats a plus. and i'll be getting paid more
and the work is easier.
so whatever
i know what i want now
but its hard.
cant always get what you want
aint that the truth
i miss how shit used to be
its gay now
i guess im out<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2006|03:23 pm] |
so im sitting in my room
it is soooooo hot
tonight will be okay
thank god
i need to do laundry too
i miss someone
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|11:03 am] |
i think someone is jelous
=)
haha
dirtbags that have nothing else better to do with their lives
well. anywho. everything is getting alot better. im okay with most of my family. im so much happier. yeeeeeeey. uhhh. work is still gay. i want my monroe peirced again. hmmm. i think im going to go wake up jessica. for the fuck of it. i went to most of my finals. i have 1 more. connor graduated pre school. hes adorable.
and theres always nightmares on elm street
the end
=) |
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